In my humble opinion, this is one of the greatest videos the internet has to offer.
On the surface it may just look like an old lady, rightfully furious about having a lemon thrown through her window after a run of apparently largely influential Tango adds, however if you look at the subtext, ‘Angry Old Lady’ says a lot about exaggeration in the elderly.
Lets face it, that would have to have been one hell of a throw for a lemon (albeit a very large one) to smash everything that she possessed and unless biblical giant Goliath has taken up petty crime, it’s unlikely that the offending fruit could be described as “deadly”. None the less, this woman is prepared to make such wild claims knowing full well she is on camera and that the lies she is telling have the potential to be kept on record forever, and truth be told, I admire her for it.
Sunday 15 March 2009
Thursday 5 March 2009
Penknifelovelife
What do you get when a you cross indistinguishable pixilated footage with audio quality that might as well have been recorded from inside a jet engine?
“The video below” is unfortunately the punch line for that little joke.
What shaolincassanova was thinking when he was uploading this tosh to the internet is beyond me but I can imagine it was something along the lines of ‘Well, you can’t hear anything, and you can’t really see anything, but surely people will enjoy this anyway!’
No, Mr Shaolincassinova, they won’t. You wouldn’t make a sandwich only to find some scallywag has vomited all over it and think ‘well, I’ve made it, I have to eat it now’, would you?
Just because it’s been made, doesn’t mean that you have to use it, some videos are better off deleted as in the long run, all your doing is taking up precious internet space and diluting peoples search results like some miserable orange drink, and who would want to drink miserable squash? Goths, that’s who.
“The video below” is unfortunately the punch line for that little joke.
What shaolincassanova was thinking when he was uploading this tosh to the internet is beyond me but I can imagine it was something along the lines of ‘Well, you can’t hear anything, and you can’t really see anything, but surely people will enjoy this anyway!’
No, Mr Shaolincassinova, they won’t. You wouldn’t make a sandwich only to find some scallywag has vomited all over it and think ‘well, I’ve made it, I have to eat it now’, would you?
Just because it’s been made, doesn’t mean that you have to use it, some videos are better off deleted as in the long run, all your doing is taking up precious internet space and diluting peoples search results like some miserable orange drink, and who would want to drink miserable squash? Goths, that’s who.
Tuesday 3 March 2009
2 Girls 1 Cup: The Crazy Reaction
During one of my all too frequent breaks from university I found myself drawn to the vast wastes of youtube, only to find that for some reason, the website thinks it knows me well enough to recommend videos that may appeal to me. Well youtube let me just say, you were way off.
Below is one of the worst videos I’ve ever seen in my life, on youtube or otherwise, and I cant for the life of me see why this video equivalent of decomposing fecal matter has had nearly four million views and has an overall rating of 4.5 stars after twenty seven thousand votes. Please if anyone has any idea why this is let me know as this is an answer that has alluded me for some time.
Visually, this video can only be described as appalling. If the people responsible for youtube knew that their labour of love was being used to showcase some pug faced chop top with eyes that look like they’ve been sewn onto him as an afterthought, gurning his rubbery features into rage inducing shapes , they would more than likely be spinning in their graves, if they were dead that is.
On top of that, the subject matter is enough to inspire tooth grinding to such an extent that at the end of this two minute clip, all that will be left in your mouth is a powdery mash mixed together with the blood from your lacerated gums, however it’s likely that any pain felt will be a welcome relief from concentrating on this idiot. Clearly a video that has been made by a man that’s spent too much time watching people watching people pooping on one another’s faces, this has to be the lowest form of pastiche on the internet at the moment.
Then there’s what makemebad35 has to say right before he pisses his dignity away all over our computer screens.
“Hey Guys, I really wasn’t gonna make this video but it’s finals week and I’m going on vacation, so I’ll be pretty busy and there’s gonna be a big gap between video making so I figured I’d throw this video out”.
Not once in that entire sentence does he justify why he has inflicted his button eyes onto the world. In fact he goes so far as to say that he wasn’t going to make the thing in the first place, yet here it is, hitting me in the face like some hideous pair of soiled underpants. Am I supposed to believe that someone held a gun to his head and made him do it?
Absolutely not, no one on the planet could possibly have the tolerance to have this guy in front of the business end of a gun and not pull the trigger. Anyone capable of that would be the real crazy one, not the elastic mouthed prat that we have here.
Below is one of the worst videos I’ve ever seen in my life, on youtube or otherwise, and I cant for the life of me see why this video equivalent of decomposing fecal matter has had nearly four million views and has an overall rating of 4.5 stars after twenty seven thousand votes. Please if anyone has any idea why this is let me know as this is an answer that has alluded me for some time.
Visually, this video can only be described as appalling. If the people responsible for youtube knew that their labour of love was being used to showcase some pug faced chop top with eyes that look like they’ve been sewn onto him as an afterthought, gurning his rubbery features into rage inducing shapes , they would more than likely be spinning in their graves, if they were dead that is.
On top of that, the subject matter is enough to inspire tooth grinding to such an extent that at the end of this two minute clip, all that will be left in your mouth is a powdery mash mixed together with the blood from your lacerated gums, however it’s likely that any pain felt will be a welcome relief from concentrating on this idiot. Clearly a video that has been made by a man that’s spent too much time watching people watching people pooping on one another’s faces, this has to be the lowest form of pastiche on the internet at the moment.
Then there’s what makemebad35 has to say right before he pisses his dignity away all over our computer screens.
“Hey Guys, I really wasn’t gonna make this video but it’s finals week and I’m going on vacation, so I’ll be pretty busy and there’s gonna be a big gap between video making so I figured I’d throw this video out”.
Not once in that entire sentence does he justify why he has inflicted his button eyes onto the world. In fact he goes so far as to say that he wasn’t going to make the thing in the first place, yet here it is, hitting me in the face like some hideous pair of soiled underpants. Am I supposed to believe that someone held a gun to his head and made him do it?
Absolutely not, no one on the planet could possibly have the tolerance to have this guy in front of the business end of a gun and not pull the trigger. Anyone capable of that would be the real crazy one, not the elastic mouthed prat that we have here.
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